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An unplanned pregnancy is one of the most distressful surprises a woman can face. Maybe you and your boyfriend don't live together. Maybe you don't want kids, or maybe he doesn't. Maybe you forgot to take your birth control pills, or your other means of contraceptives just didn't work.
Whatever the case is, right now you're wondering: How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm pregnant?
Many women have been in your shoes... Yet every relationship is unique, which means that your coverstation is going to look different than it would for other women.
1. Make sure you're pregnant
Just because you missed your period doesn't mean you're pregnant. It is important to be 100% sure about your pregnancy before relaying it to anyone. At-home tests are usually correct, but it would be helpful to get a proof of pregnancy from your doctor or local pregnancy care center. (At Cross Roads, we provide pregnancy testing and verification for FREE! Everything is confidential.)
Pregnancy news can be heavy, especially if it was unplanned. Here are some tips as you prepare what to tell him:
Choose an in-person, private setting. This information should not be sent via text. He deserves to be told face-to-face by you about his child. A restaurant or crowded mall might not be the best environment to break the news. Choose a setting that is private but safe. If you are worried about his reaction, invite a close friend or family member to be nearby.
Give him space. You've had some time to process the news... He hasn't. Do you remember the hurricane of emotions you felt as you stared down at that positive test? He will likely be as shocked as you. He might be angry, confused, anxious, or even excited. Allow him time to process these emotions before deciding what next steps to take regarding your pregnancy.
Types of Relationships
Many married couples experience unplanned pregnancy. If your marriage is healthy, your partner may feel excited by this news. Or maybe he is in-between jobs and doesn't think having a kid is a financially responsible option right now. This doesn't mean that you can't have a respectful, supportive conversation about next steps.
It might be easier to tell someone you've been dating for two years about your pregnancy than someone you've just been seeing for two months... Still, he does have a right to know. This may be a good opportunity to offer him the chance to be supportive of you and involved in the life of this baby.
If your pregnancy was the cause of a one night stand, how you should announce your pregnancy depends on your situation. Always keep safety in mind. If you feel safe to tell this man about your pregnancy, then he should know. However, this is your body and your baby, so the decision about what to do next is up to you.
What are my next steps?
Once you've told him about your pregnancy, you'll be wondering about your options. Whether you are thinking about keeping your baby, having an abortion, or adopting out, you'll need to get an ultrasound.
Ultrasounds confirm viability. This means that they show if your baby is growing in the right location in the proper timeframe. Ultrasounds also detect your baby's heartbeat. It is estimated that around 25% of pregnancies end in their first trimester, so it is extremely important to know these things before making a decision.
Cross Roads offers FREE early OB ultrasounds. Everything we do is caring and confidential.
Would you like to set up an appointment? Give us a call!
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